It’s not as easy as it once was before….

I was once told that my blog is “TOO MUCH WRITING”…”It reads more like a journal than it does a blog”.  So what makes up a blog?  I’ll end up letting this blog redefine itself.

I AM INSPIRED over and over and over.  Sometimes…well lets see…ALL THE TIME I find it really hard to express or communicate properly without overindulging on hand motions and going through a tirade of words till finally it takes the other person to finish off the meaning.  My blog is a bit like that…

Going through the endless list of internet pages I am bombarded one after another with images and images stacked upon images.  But where’s the text?   Some pages take an extreme amount of time to load because they are just laquered with images.  I don’t know what this blog is anymore.  It’s become a mish mash of this and that and frankly I like it.

I lay here with my Mac book typing away trying to figure out what else could inspire me.  I heard my father’s voice briefly.  I tried to catch it and it flickered away.  How soon…how soon did i forget what his voice sounds like.  I hear my mother’s voice all the time, she calls me incessantly and leaves me voicemails when I do not pick up.  I find comfort as well as discomfort when she leaves me voicemails.

But my father’s voice…I am trying to remember it…I can’t…I am trying to replay stories…sayings…laughter…I cant…I just have images of him..smiling…laughing…yawning…silence…my heart is still so sore after 4 years of him not being physically present.  But it pushes me harder each day to work harder.

I was tempted to go back to a 9-5…

true love will find you in the end.

1 thought on “It’s not as easy as it once was before….”

  1. Dude, this is YOUR blog. Write as much as you freaking want. I love it. It reminds me so much of you when we’re so far away. I miss you and I love you, Tina. And no, it’s not as easy as it once was before.

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