UH OH…

UH OH indeed.  How do I get my spurts of inspiration?  Inspiration does not come without some sort of happiness…and yes warmth and beaches make me happy.  Where is my

sun where is my happiness…moments of sun shines and rays beaming into my squinted eyes…sun shine landing onto my skin.  Beaches…warm sand…strolling…sweat…but not the kind that I normally find on the line. Our season in the sun here in San Francisco is very sporadic. With that being said…

A VACATION is needed. So what now?

I saw Tom Ford’s A Single Man tonight.  Nearly every part of that movie could have would have been a beautiful still.  After I finished the movie I layed there trying to capture something that I would find beautiful.  Staring at one part of the room to the next, one object to the next, I made it my exclusive ZEN moment of the day.  Yes…there it was.  A corner of light where the kitchen and the living room met, and as the shadows of the molding of this old Victorian apartment crept into the picture I realized then that I HAD to teach myself to see beauty again.

How often does this happen?  How often do I step out of my house without finding something that absolutely captivates me.  I guess it has to become practice.  What once was so easy becomes now becomes a daily exercise.

That often happens with working as a line cook.  How do I gain that spark or flame again…  The other night on the line I found myself unusually happy and caught myself giddy with anticipation for the next rush.  It was hot, I was sweaty and I just wanted more.  I suppose that as a line cook you can wear yourself out quite easily, so every night when I sometimes get bored I just tell myself that I am still learning, that with each plate I just gotta find the beauty in the repetition.

One time a friend asked me what I had learned since becoming a line cook, I replied with “Well, everyday I lose patience and everyday I gain patience.”

As passionate as most cooks that I know are it’s pretty important to look outside that line, to cook for your own creative needs…not just being a line cook.

That awe and spark is lost sometimes when we just becomes line cooks.  I can’t stress it enough that all cooks need to get out there and search for the happiness that sets us apart from other food enthusiast.

When I was wee little girl teachers would say that I was a day dreamer.  That my parents should have put me on some form on medication in order for me to pay attention.  Luckily my parents never did that and I thrived on my imagination and wonder.  That wonder and fascination also spread to food.  That it was one indulgence that intellectually as well as emotionally overwhelmed me.  I just wanted to learn and explore every thing that squashed between my teeth and onto my tongue down my throat into my belly.

The past two weeks I taught a cooking class to first generation immigrant children and I fell in love with the feeling that kids can give you.  It’s that wide eyes anticipation that one can sometimes lose as an adult.  I realized that I really love teaching kids.  Teaching anyone.  And again, leave it up to the kids to teach me how to fall in love with life and to see beauty within everything once again.  But then again, Daniel teaches me that everyday.  His photography and his zest for life teaches me to open my ojos again, that beauty is instantaneously around us.